The TeleWellness Hub Podcast

Men’s Mental Health Month Special Recap: Healing Connections: Joshua Reish on Strengthening Relationships in the Digital Age and the Power of Telehealth

• Martamaria Hamilton

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Imagine a world where the threads of community and connection are woven stronger than ever in the aftermath of a global pandemic. Join us as we sit down with Joshua Reish, a licensed marriage and family therapist and the visionary behind Psychotherapy Associates of Arizona. We uncover Joshua's personal journey and motivations in the realm of therapy, shedding light on how curiosity and empathy can transform relationships. Joshua offers a fresh perspective as a male therapist in a predominantly female field, explaining how these diverse viewpoints enrich the therapeutic experience. Together, we'll explore how addressing the shadows of isolation can lead to more fulfilling relationships, hobbies, and careers.

Technology's rapid evolution has reshaped mental health care, and we dive into its impact with Joshua. We explore the role of telehealth in bridging the gap of accessibility, making mental health resources more reachable than ever. Listen as we dissect societal disconnection experienced through family dynamics, social media, and the political climate, and gain valuable strategies from Joshua on fortifying your connections through active listening, humor, and shared activities. This conversation is a timely reminder of the importance of nurturing our connections and building a supportive community to stand resilient against the challenges of modern life.

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Speaker 1:

Welcome back listeners to another episode of the tele wellness hub podcast. I'm Marta Hamilton, your host, and today's guest is Joshua Reich. He's a licensed marriage and family therapist and also the founder of psychotherapy associates of Arizona. Psychotherapy associates of Arizona Inc is a group of licensed therapists with over 12 years of experience helping individuals, couples and families overcome challenges and improve their mental health. They specialize in working with clients living in the entire state of Arizona who are struggling with anxiety, depression and relationship issues, and they enjoy the reward of seeing clients make connections and learn to take better care of themselves as they create deeper satisfaction in their relationships, hobbies and work. And because of that, today we're going to talk a little bit more about community connection, isolation and just how to strengthen relationships. So thank you so much, joshua, for joining us today.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, thanks, margaret for having me on.

Speaker 1:

I'm excited to dive into these topics because I think it's been coming up a lot in social media, in the news and just in general, an understanding that maybe since COVID there's just been a lot of isolation, a lack of connection, and people are feeling more isolated than ever, are feeling more isolated than ever. So I'm really grateful that you're coming on to talk to us, especially with your background and expertise in this area of connection and relationships. But before we dive into that, can you share a little bit about why you do the wellness work that you do?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, well, I think that it kind of just came all the way from childhood for me, like I was just always, I guess, more sensitive, nurturing, or I would seek to understand people's motives and their feelings, their thoughts. I was just curious about that. I was more supportive than combative. I remember there was a time in my childhood I tried to to match the other boys and like fighting and stuff like that, and I just didn't. It just I just never, never fit with me. I was always more like just relaxed and tried to get to know people. Um, and the peer pressure tried to make me like a tough guy, but I couldn't pull it off.

Speaker 2:

So yeah, since I was a kid I wanted to help people. That's taken various forms over the years. Like I wanted to be someone that would you know, be skiing down the mountain and like do first aid or bring people to the medic. You know, I was into skiing a lot when I was young. I wanted to be a doctor at one point. I was into skiing a lot when I was young. I wanted to be a doctor at one point. I almost got into that. But I've had some positive therapy experiences and I thought, well, actually this is a really legit field. This really does help people in their mental health, but also their physical health, so I got inspired from learning about that field and been doing it since 2011.

Speaker 1:

Oh wow, that's really cool, just kind of born a natural connector and helper. I love when you mentioned the curiosity. I think so many helpers or healers or people in this space have a curiosity about people and connections and whether it's on a physical realm like biological or wiring or brain, but also that intangible right Like emotions and personality. I think you see curiosity kind of come up in people's answers. I love that question to just kind of learn more about it and it's just felt like this has been part of your path for a long time and that's cool.

Speaker 1:

Hearing too about the ski patrol person, because I have experience needing to be helped by ski patrol and my daughters too. So yeah, just interesting, like a different perspective of like just always looking at how to help, that's really that's really cool and inspiring I. I think especially you brought up something about like boys fighting and matching. Our field in the mental health field is predominantly women. So I guess, before we dive into just more of the areas of your expertise, I'm curious about your experience as a male, as a man, in graduate school, in clinical work and just kind of if you could talk about that a little bit.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, it's been good. I've always felt respected as a man. Like even early into my master's program for emergent albatherapy, it was said repeatedly to me that there's very few men in the field. So it's very special that you're here and also very needed, because some clients, for example, people that maybe have experienced their dad not being around very much or something like that, or having a lot of male relatives, and sometimes that matters, you know, that can make a difference in the therapeutic relationship which is central to the change process. So, but, yeah, I've always felt really um, empowered, um and respected and I think like, yeah, I just had a very positive experience, as in you know, like, like, I think the male biology and the male brain can bring something. Um, you know different and um, but being around a lot of women, it's also made me learn to be more sensitive too. Um, there's a lot of a lot of therapists that I've come to know are, you know, naturally, kind of nurturing or, you know, sensitive and they think fun things like synthesize me to just listening better.

Speaker 1:

So, um, yeah, it's just been great learning experience, say yeah, yeah, I was curious well before we hit record and just in our conversations, when I remember mentioning oh my gosh I have when I was in the Southwest, you know, in harder to find. So I'm so glad that you didn't feel, I guess, disempowered by being a minority in a graduate program in the mental health field and that you took the opportunity to grow in your own clinical skills. It sounds like of just being listening more in a different way and nurturing and all those things and also just the value you bring. So I appreciate you coming on here and sharing your perspective, Diving into that kind of connection piece, the isolation piece.

Speaker 1:

This is something I'm really curious about because so often I've worked with parents who maybe worked with, who had teenagers, or maybe spouses or partners, who said you know, I just feel like something's off with my loved one, Like they're, they're just like in their room. They don't really want to hang out there, don't want to really connect. So what are some signs that friends, family or community members should be aware of that might indicate that maybe someone is experiencing loneliness or struggling with their mental health?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, that's a good question. Um, I think it's. There's. There's a ton of things that someone could be looking for in, like their loved one or their friends. Um, yeah, like, if they're isolating more than the normal, if they're tending to eat more, gaining weight or eating less, uh, we, you know, like changing their sleep habits, um, tending to use alcohol or drugs in the first place or more than they usually do. Um, maybe they're skipping school. They could be getting sick more often, like physically or mentally. They could. Just, you know, maybe they walk with their head down or they feel nervous, maybe they don't want to go to the store or anything like that.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, there's a lot of things, just changes in behavior that are going to be more negative or more isolative and, uh, you know, maybe short answers, more shy than usual and kind of everything, will skew to my normal ways what are some suggestions you would have for the family members, like maybe they're noticing that they're sleeping, you mentioned the sleeping might be off, they're isolated and they're sleeping a lot and, like you mentioned, they don't want to kind of participate in activities outside the home with them or go to the store or different things like that. Any kind of recommendations that you would have or suggestions in terms of how to approach them, how to have a conversation about that?

Speaker 2:

my approach is always like how I do with clients or how I do with family members that are struggling, or is I tend to just go straight forward, like I just tell them hey, I see something's different. I observe, you know, feeling like you're not going out with your friends anymore, or I noticed that you're not really answering my calls or you're whatever. Like I noticed this behavior and I'm kind of concerned and I'd like to to know if there's any way I can help or if there's, um, you know something going on for you that you want to talk about and um, just and then take it from there. Um, you might run into resistance, like maybe they're mad at you, for example, or they're upset with something else in their life, and then, whether they're mad at me or they're mad at someone else, or they're struggling with something unrelated, then I just begin by using a lot of active listening, like reflective listening, mirroring statements, and I just try to be there with them, you know, more than trying to fix it or, you know, kind of give them an inspirational speech or anything like that. Not that those things don't have any place, but I think if you notice that someone's in distress, then it's really important just to one of the things they taught us in graduate school, like align your nervous system with theirs, so let yourself be moved by what they're doing. You're going to ask questions. Be curious. Don't give your own input for a time, like you know. Suspend that until you can see that they're open to you. You know, like they're sort of um, maybe they start to ask you a question, or maybe they start to play a little bit, or they get curious, they move outside of their own problem, and that's when you know that you can go into a different phase, such as problem solving.

Speaker 2:

But, um, you know one of the things that I think, because I put my clients, and most of them, people have they, which I know it's a biased sampling of the population but like people say that that, oh, I have my talk to, and blah, blah, blah and, but I can't talk to them about this, and so that's why I'm looking for a therapist, and so you know our job as therapists, right, is to like get us out of the job. And so from day one, I'm thinking like, okay, how can I plant seeds to where this person is going to begin to, um, ask for what they need, right, or, or um, or be supported by people Like, first of all, they might need to discover what they need, and and so my place, in just being a careful listener that doesn't give a whole lot of input, is to, um, let them unfold, let them discover what they even feel are neat, if that's the case, and then from there you can normalize what's going on for them, maybe giving some me-too statements. And yeah, that's kind of my approach to just listening to clients and family and friends, because life is hard and I think sometimes just a conversation where someone's listening well to you, it can turn things around. You know, sometimes it feels like it's the end of the world and no one cares, and maybe people even have suicidal thoughts because they feel like you know, who can I go to? And so I feel like just listening to can I go to? And so I feel like just listening to one another.

Speaker 2:

Especially in the political environment there's so much divide, like, you know, government politics, but also like social politics and things like that. So, um, I think that those things don't have to be. We can have disagreements, but we don't have to be um, so disconnected. Like we can, we can learn from people that disagree with us and sometimes we're more alike than we thought because we took the time to listen.

Speaker 1:

I think something you brought up is so important to emphasize. You mentioned the power of a therapist that you know is there to listen and of course I'm biased as a therapist that you know is there to listen and you and, uh, of course I'm biased right as a therapist myself. But I mean the research shows and we know that there's power in in having a non-judgmental person who is trained to be there to listen and who absolutely thinks that you matter so much not to say that other loved ones don't think that you matter but to really emphasize to their client like you matter, your life matters, um, I think I think there's a lot of power in that and I I love that you brought up curiosity as really a suggestion for the family members. It's just tying it to your natural curiosity and other people and different things, um, without having a and being really direct and saying I see this, you know I'm curious about you, know what's been going on, how you're feeling, and not going into problem solving right away or motivational speech, like you said, but just having an opportunity to listen to what they're saying and to give them an opportunity to discover themselves, like also just discover, and I think that's awesome that you do that in your approach with clients is helping them discover how they're feeling and what they need to be able to be an advocate for themselves also and their needs. And I love what you said is like our goal is to work ourselves out of a job, because I often talk about that as well. Just in clinical work, it's just wonderful to see people grow and thrive and feel empowered and knowing that you're still there if they need to come back for therapy. But to see them be able to do that it's really just an honor to be a therapist.

Speaker 1:

I often tell people it seems like you have that same passion and feeling you mentioned about society being disconnected, without doing too much of a deep dive, because I'm sure we can talk about this a lot, but there's so many avenues to take it down. But what do you think? What are some things that you're seeing that in terms of your therapy practice or with your clients? Like how does disconnection show up? Is it like society stuff? It's family stuff? All of those things Like what are you seeing when it comes to being disconnected?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I honestly don't think I've gotten close to the bottom of it. I try to, you know, read research, read research, and you know I'm learning from my clients constantly um, just just kind of keep my eye on my hand on the pulse of society. Like what's, like what's trending, like what like what's? How are people dealing with things? Like, how are people feeling? How are people making community? Um, I don't know, I just know there's a lot of different things going on that are not good for human connection. I know sometimes people just blame social media. I don't know, I think that can definitely be a problem If people just don't have anything else besides that. That can have some some issues like like echo chamber or, um, maybe it could be like online bullying, um, and you know, what is echo chamber?

Speaker 1:

I'm so sorry to interrupt. What is that?

Speaker 2:

that's oh, that's sort of like an idea that how do you say it? Like people would just listen to the kind of news or be in the kind of circles.

Speaker 1:

Oh, okay, I hadn't heard that.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yes, okay, yeah, I could see how that and some of it is like the algorithms right when you're talking about social media, where they only will portray a certain type of perspective to you.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and so I know there's things that you probably know about too, like so many families that are broken apart, like single-parent homes. Not judging that just to notice that that can be stressful, for kids, for instance, but also for the parents too, um, because they're like the sole breadwinner and you know they look they're like parenting one on their own oftentimes and um, you know that's the thing people having kids later on lives and um, people have fewer kids now than previous decades. I think that's part of. I'm not saying that's all bad, but I think one positive thing that that leaves out is the socialization that you have from siblings. That could be a buffer If you have a rough childhood, at least you have your sister or your brother to go to. I don't know. There's just a lot of different things going on, like I um, I feel like politics is more something that that that is a touchy subject for for a lot of people um than than before.

Speaker 1:

yeah, because it even creates divide in families where before there might not be conflict, right, or I? Or I've seen that come up and just really in previous client work right, like people not being able to gather for Thanksgiving because of someone else's perspective and political, and so there's even less connection, physical or communication. You know, like being able to physically be disconnected, emotionally maybe having less communication as well. Yeah, it's interesting. You say you haven't gone to the bottom of it and I feel the same way. It's interesting.

Speaker 1:

I know there's some research and stuff, but it's hard. So I you know in your line of work you create a lot of support and you want to be there to create, you know, mutual support for your clients and support in the community, and you're great at like rapport building and really affirming people Like what can you share with us a little bit about? Like how you do that and in case it could help inspire listeners and and saying you know I want to be able to support more and I want to connect more with community and and or my loved ones, you know, be able to reach out and and fill that gap of disconnect yeah, yeah, so basically how to connect better with their loved ones.

Speaker 2:

Like when you say that, I kind of get overwhelmed by like, like so many different thoughts, but I'll try to keep it simple. And yeah, uh, I think you know the things I mentioned earlier, like the um, the record building exercises, like how to listen actively, is huge as a foundation. I'd say, um, and then, um, I think, like play is very important and um, yeah, you know this like finding a way to like make light of things, like start with poking fun at yourself and then see how the person responds, see if you can get away with doing that to them, you know, in small ways, see how they do with little tiny dose of that and then see if they reciprocate it. And, yeah, I found that people that can have a sense of humor about their issues, um, you know, in therapy, but also my personal experience and of my family relationships and friends, like it allows some of the tension to dissipate and then you can kind of like be more self-accepting because you're not trying to be taken so seriously or maintain a facade of togetherness or whatever. You know, um, so like just, I think you know just practically do things together, go on long drives or walks uh, sometimes that's where good conversations happen. Or maybe you haven't even been having a conversation and all of a sudden your son or your significant other starts talking to you, or usually like talking. You know the blood flow gets going. This, the change of scenery, um and uh, you know, there's just, you know, I think, I think, having community to go to regularly, whether it's like a book club or, you know, volunteering somewhere, safe community like a meetup group, even play some sports, yeah, the more, the more like contact you can get with people that are like minded and that are in a like positive. There's a positive framework, shared goal, shared values, and it's going to allow you to connect and feel affirmed and you get to do that for others and that's really going to be, it's very easy to say, hard to do.

Speaker 2:

I know for a lot of people there's some fear factors. Sometimes, especially with COVID, I feel like people, so many people have told me like, oh, since covid happened, we've been so isolated like I kind of forgot how to talk to people or I don't want, I don't feel like anybody anymore. So it kind of seems almost like whether it's a fear thing or just people not being accustomed to it. I think we got to get. We have to kind of just put ourselves out there and you know, you know, make yourself go through the normal checkout lane at the store, you know, for example, you know, just take baby steps.

Speaker 2:

And that's that's part of what I do with therapy is how do we make it small enough for you to approach the thing that you're scared of or daunted by? And, you know, go ahead and do that, and how can I support you in that? And you know, when you come back and you've done it, then we'll take it one step further. And I think that's one way that we can support each other, to hold each other accountable. Realize that a lot of people are struggling too. So you're not alone. We're listening, but not all of it.

Speaker 1:

Um, it's, we need each other and it's there's a lot of, there's a lot of commonality and yeah, and you know you bring up a really interesting topic that I had seen and thought about too. You know, covid was a shared experience. It's one of those experiences where it shifted things for so many, um, and even therapists. So so if, if you're listening, like you said, you're not alone, and not only are you not alone, if you're feeling disconnected and you're feeling isolated, maybe there was a shift, especially after COVID, I guarantee you a lot of therapists even felt like they experienced the same, the same shifts and changes themselves. So you know, you brought up, like actually going to the grocery store.

Speaker 1:

I, you know, I still, I have to sometimes remind myself like, oh, I have to go inside, rather than like the pickup that I scheduled, like, scheduled, like there are little things in which life has changed for a lot of us. So I love that you bring that up Curiosity, listening, community and just kind of normalizing, that you're not alone. And not only are you not alone, but there are therapists that are genuinely there, training, have done training experience to support you and maybe even can relate to, to some of those, those experiences of, of, of challenges, especially after COVID and the, and the disconnect, yeah, yeah, how can people connect with you, joshua?

Speaker 2:

They can visit my profile on tele wellnessness Hub or Psychic Association of Arizona. We're in the process of getting our website joined, so you could find it on this air, possibly under that name.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

I'm not going possibly under that name. Yeah, okay, yeah, going um. They can also feel free to email me at um joshua j-o-s-h-u-a, at joshua r-e-i-s-h-l-m-f-t. Dot hushcom, and I will personally answer their emails yeah, thanks so much.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, because I do know that on your telewellness hub profile we're gonna upload this year, but I know that you have a way to contact and email directly from there. So, yeah, josh is one of our amazing providers that is listed on Telewellness Hub and you can connect with him and the group practice there to be able to psychotherapy. Associates of Arizona. For that's the beauty of, I will say, we talked about COVID and the disconnect. Telehealth really became more of a norm, which is one of the. I think there are so many pros that came out of increased technology and I think increased access to a therapist is one of them. So, joshua, thanks so much for your time and your wisdom and your insight, and thank you so much for being a part of our wellness journey today.

Speaker 2:

Sure Thanks for having me on.